In the Healthcare Leadership Excellence podcast, Karl Pister and I talked through ideas from my Best Conflict Conversation Cards, which he uses in his consulting work: the stories we tell ourselves, the anger iceberg, impact versus intent, and the power of a generous assumption. These skills matter in healthcare, at work, and at home, and every one of them can be learned. Here are nine ideas from our two conversations.

I don’t use ground rules in mediation, and I never have. In my mediation coaching and skills training, I watch what happens when someone is reminded of the rules: they shut down and start saying the right thing instead of the true thing. Here’s what I do instead, from an opening that asks people to listen to understand, to stopping and summarizing when it gets heated, plus the research on what suppressing emotion costs people at the table.

Mediator Kimberly Best, RN, MA returns to Dr. Lee Sharma's Scalpel and Sword podcast for Ep69 to talk about practicing conflict skills in healthcare, the Best Conflict Conversation Cards, and why a hard conversation deserves the same rehearsal as any procedure.

Which leadership style gets the best results? Research on servant leadership, trust, and team performance, plus one practical step to start this week.

If your family is struggling with decisions about an aging parent's care, medical treatment, or end-of-life wishes, I want to start with the thing I say to families in my mediation practice all the time: you are not alone, and neither is your family. This is not an easy season, and there is a lot to navigate at once. And while this is not the conversation any of us wants to be having, it is one of the most important conversations you can have.

People in conflict tend to argue about what happened or didn’t happen. Who said what, who did what, who started it, who was right and who was wrong. That is almost never what the conflict is about. Underneath the argument, four things are running at once. Emotions that are hard to see and harder to name. Values that feel non-negotiable. Interests buried under stated positions. Needs that go unspoken because they are the hardest thing to say out loud.

Your culture is not the values on the wall. Your culture is what your system has actually learned about how to interact, especially in difficulty, accumulated over years, and it is running whether anyone is paying attention to it or not. And left to chance, it often outlives the people who formed it.

If you read my recent post on the five signs of quiet cracking on your team, here's the part I intentionally set aside for this post. The people responsible for noticing quiet cracking are cracking themselves. If your strategy for the next twelve months doesn't have managers at the center of it, you're missing the actual story.

Quiet cracking is the slow erosion of an employee's engagement, confidence, and connection to their work. It's not burnout. It's not quiet quitting. It's quieter than both, and that's exactly what makes it dangerous.

Why Does the Energy You Carry Matter? Because the space we hold for other people depends on the space we hold for ourselves. Because how you are feeling is the energy you give off – no matter how well you think you’re hiding it. And the most important part: what we get back is often the result of the energy we’re putting out.

Mediation is a confidential, voluntary process where a neutral third party (the mediator) helps people in conflict have the conversation they have been avoiding and reach an agreement they both choose. The mediator does not decide anything. The mediator does not take sides. The mediator does not give legal advice or tell anyone what to do. What the mediator does is create the conditions where people can hear each other, understand what is actually at stake, and find a path fo

Most of us have worked for someone whose behavior made our days harder than they needed to be. The leader who humiliates in meetings. The one whose anger seems to arrive before the facts do. The boss whose team tiptoes through every interaction because no one knows which version will show up that day.

A few weeks ago I spoke to AARP for a piece: "How to Cope When You Are Caregiving for Someone You (Really!) Don’t Get Along With," by Bruce Horovitz. That piece is worth reading if you are in a particularly hard situation. What I want to offer here is broader: practical tips and tools for any caregiving relationship, end of life, and especially for the challenges that come with it.

Most people have never heard the term conflict coaching until they need it. And by then, they're often searching for something else: "how to prepare for a hard conversation," "how to talk to my sister about Mom's care," "how to give feedback without making things worse." Conflict coaching is the thing they're actually looking for, but the name hasn't caught on the way therapy or executive coaching has.

Three tools for hard conversations and group dialogue, from an hour of live dialogue on Cards on the Table: when to use a town hall versus a facilitated dialogue, how to handle anger as information instead of attack, and the single best question to ask before responding to someone who's struggling. The full webinar recording is now on YouTube, and these are the tools participants said they'd use first.

In my recent conversation with Dr. Lee Sharma on her podcast Scalpel and Sword: Conflict and Negotiation in Modern Medicine, we talked about something most healthcare leaders know but rarely name: unresolved conflict is quietly burning out staff, damaging teams, and harming patient outcomes

Labels have always terrified me. Not the words themselves, but what comes with them: the fear of being mis-seen. Of having someone look at me and see the label instead of me. Of being reduced to a word I never fully agreed to.

U.S. companies spend more than $160 billion a year on leadership development. The global number exceeds $366 billion. That buys a lot of workshops, executive retreats, and 360-degree assessments. And yet, Development Dimensions International's (DDI) 2024 assessment of more than 70,000 manager candidates found that 49 percent cannot demonstrate effective conflict management skills. Only 12 percent showed high proficiency. That's not a "people problem." That's a skills gap on a

When Overtime Becomes a Conflict: What Healthcare Practice Managers Need to KnowI was recently interviewed by Cathy Cassata for Medical Assisting Today on a topic that comes up constantly in my work with healthcare teams: overtime. Specifically, the tensions that build when staff feel overworked, undervalued, or caught in systems that aren't working for anyone.

Research shows email tone is misread nearly half the time. Kimberly Best of Best Conflict Solutions, based in St. Louis and working nationwide, explores 20 years of studies on how text, email, phone, and face-to-face communication affect workplace conflict and relationships.